Hi all,

I have decided to go to SJST as i really think it is a right place for me especially after today.

As there s a long time guilt towards my my mother death for all these years cos i never stopped her from committing suicide when i was 9 years old so this guilt has been there for 21 yeArs already.

But today topic s on Mark 2:1-21
it talks about Lord having authority to forgive sins and power to heal.

Pastor tells us a story of a man who fails to any phrases to his dying dad. then after his dad died, he became very sad and regret. feeling guilty, he often banged his head on the direction wheel very hard so as to release his emotional pain. and he had a numeral sleepless night so 1 day he went to consulted a pastor. Then pastor told him that the very 1st thing he has to do is not ask forgiveness from god which he had been praying 4 it many times and actually He has forgiven him already but he himself never forgive himself so how is he able to receive His forgiveness.
So forgive yourself or any1 1st as an act of willingness to receive his forgiveness.

after tt, tt man has gone home and had a vvv good sleep. the next day he wakes up feeling being set free. and he become as happy as b4 or even happier as he has found out tt to receive him is an act oof one's willingness so is asking for forgiveness you must willingly and wholeheartedly forgive yourselves or others 1st then you ll really receive His forgivness.

So the pastor as the crowd whoever who want to forgive onreself and others please stand.

I stood cos i remembered the guilt i have for my mum. So pastor pray for me. and i really feel a knot in my heart has been untied.

So i thank God for that. really set me free from being guilty.

this s all for today.

regards,
aili

Lim Ai Li February 27 at 11:25pm

and it also heal ppl's hearts too emotionally

I have gone to a nearby church with peiling who is kind enough to accompany me there.
today i cant really get what the pastor sharing but from i understand he s trying to share that how persevering Lord is in prayers He can spend most of his time in praying even whole night praying for his disciples so we need to learn from Him being consistent in praying for each one of whom we know and for those who we don't know.
And encourage one another to pray no matter is for yourselves or others. And peiling also told me that in a prayer we can also thank God for we have and what we have understood in His words.
Even i have not read much of the Bible i already know pretty much through other sisters' and brothers; action and words. i thank god for it.

And i also learnt any1 really believe and obey Him can be His disciple.

And last few days i was reading John 4:34-38 At first i dont understand verse 35-38 So i ask yongmei and she explaint to me
What Jesus is telling me that He is priotying his work given from Father to tell us the good news that the kingdom is near and we can be saved and meet him if we have repented and have faith on Him and to guide us than earthly food which give us energy to our earthly food but we have to have the spiritual energy to our soul comes from His words first to read and understand what he s trying to tell us through his words.


Yongmei has taught me to ask why, where, how, who and when after reading an incident that Jesus had encounter. So as I was reading He walks on water we all know that he is trying to show us his power to overcome everything and to catch up with his disciples who were ahead of him. I know the reason but is there other meanings why he is showing us this or is he trying to tell us other than he has the power or even catching up with his disciples when he is a very patient God who has waited for thousands of years for ppl to come to Him. So why he is doing this other than showing his powers which he has been doing all these by healing sicks and disabled even turning breads to as many as giving those to eat.
Healing and turning water to wine there is a good reason for his doing is to help others but walking on water only show his power and catching up with his disciples is that all?

i diont know why i think there is more why he is showing us he walks on water. i am still figuring out.

However I ask Peiling why Lord need to praised and we thankful to him is enough le. Why we need to be so action to praise Him yeah we all know that he die for us to secure our salvation we are thankful to him and believe in his words but praise??????

Peiling told me praise him is quite the same as respect we respect him is by listening to his words and obey him But Praise is only to show others  how great He is yes He is great but to me praising is like a king asking his servants to say how great he is.
Sorry Lord but i will pray for more understanding of this prAising thing!

actuali i thkg of doing vendor business
n today i ask
my aunt
n b4 askg her i pray
is this wat
i m supposde to do
n my aunt et me knw tt i cant do
n tell me to nbe patient
n jus go traing 1st
i cm to thk
she s rite too
n i hv a thkg tt thru my aunt
He answerg me
He want m
me to do thgz
step by step
tk 1 thg at a time
nt only my aunt tell me
bt my fren yesday
said tt i hv nvr chg since sec schl
as i  m anxious
person
so wil wry wat s havent hsppen yet
so i think tt s wat He wants
me to see
my bad points
n leave everythg to him n jus learn watever i can nw
to knw him n upgrade my skill
i nw can see the link
as sec schl fren i jus find her bk
n she told me tis
ppl improve
bt
i still e same old ,me
so nw
i ll gv my wry to god

Thanks Lord.

how u define blessing?

Yesterday Pastor ask what is the real blessing? He said real blessing is belonging our heavenly kingdom
and not as gd thgs or bad thgs happen to u
as smtm gd thgs can turrn bad
n bad thg
can turn good blessing
n blessing is not according to earthly
things
but blessing
is wen u come to know god
and follow him
till you see him

do not be condemned by this condemned society.

  He said:

   ³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
   for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
   for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
   for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
   for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
   for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

and i believe that if i continue reading his words even i have doubts but i feel that its true that come to know him it give my heart somethg undescribable.

.

Thanks Lord for giving me a chance to listen to this blessing sharing.

Blessed to receive:
1) Matt 5:3 - blessing 
2) Matt 5:4 – comfort 
3) Matt 5:5 – Reward 
4) Matt 5:6 – to be made Holy 
5) Matt 5:7- Mercy 
6) Matt 5:8 – See God 
7) Matt 5:9 – a relationship with God 
8) Matt 5:10 – comfort 

This is shared by a fren named peiling

Today i committed 3 sins greed, lazy n adultery Father sorry pls forgv me and straighten my faith so that i wnt fal to temptation Tq father

today's a fruitful day

Today I learnt:

1. Christ died for us not only for our sins in for us to have eternal life but also to ensure us of an eternal life and to  show us that he is the only One who can do all these things and he is showing us that he really means what he has promised us by dying and rising up again.
Although I dont really quite get what these mean but i believe that if i have faith, i will understand one day as he will show it ti me.

2. It is ok to rely on him and believe that he got plans for us. but can't ask him to do things that i desire. He will answer to those prayers that follow his words and not contradicting his words.
Lord i know that you want me to rely on you on my decision making and emotional matter. so i will in the name of yours.

3. Say thank to God for everything. Praise him as he is our Saviour. And try to say thank to our family too as He has told us to honour our family.
It s quite hard to say thank and i love you to my family as we have never done that. but i will do it as i love them. And i hope to love god as much too.

4. Learn His words at my own pace.
Yes i am alway so anxious to learn things and at the end i have learn nothing. so i need to be patient and enjoy thru this journey. Step by step with steady and firm steps to walk on until i see the "Light". So Aili slow down and believe that he has plans for us.

Thanks Father for letting me know so much things to day through Yongmei and thank to Yong mei and her family for sharing with me such a great dinner tonight.

a video of Jesus

I have finished watching a film of our Father http://www.jesusfilm.org/film-and-media/watch-the-film. It is about his life and his three years' ministry. I was very tired and did not have the mood to watch it. thinking of doing the data entry which can earn a little but I think that yesterday i was too tired to listen to bible so i watched it. And it is a really a nice show and from there i get to understand more things when i don't really get it through reading or listening. but while watching i do have some doubts if they are all true but what he has told us is very meaningful and he give us a good example of how to live our lives.

So He is a very good teacher and Father to guide my way. Even without his power to heal, His words are the antitodes to our poisoned spirit. So i want to be with him in his kingdom whereby he will tell us alot things to broaden our minds and knowledge. I think when i am with Him i will ask him alot of things and i believe that He will be able to answer all.

Yesterday preaching is clear and understandable. That Father has planted seeds in our heart whether we bloom wheat  or weeds depends on our faith and perseverance.

Mathew 13 :24-30

1. trust God
2. Watch out Satan
3. have faith

Thanks Father for letting me know these and i know that they are more that i don't know and i know that you are going to reveal them to me when time has come.

.